Till death do us part…

2010 has begun on such a gloomy note. Three shocking deaths in less than two months, of folks I knew and was getting to know. 1 serious accident of a cyclist friend because of a drunk driver. A friend diagnosed with high cholesterol at 28. Another friend’s impending marriage stopped at the last minute. Continued illness in the family with new infections and scores of heavy drugs to contend with. A heartbreak after more than a year of courting and hoping against hope. I wasn’t spared, either — an unexplained pain and inflammation in the knees, which clearly portend rheumatoid arthritis.

I don’t mind dying, and I don’t mind deaths. But if only there were a reason, a logic to them. Oh gloominess and melancholy, drown us but throw us some light, some reason.

The last of these three deaths reminded me, after slightly more than twenty-one years, of my dear grandmother. Such a fine, simple and refined lady, and she suffered so much and died so young. I wasn’t half as affected by her pain, and maybe I did not even understand it then, as I am and do today. Maybe it was my deep attachment to her — unexpressed then but ever present and potent even today — that causes my knees to ache; she too suffered acutely from arthritis.

They say we pass through many births and deaths. But never have they whispered about the many births, and the uncountable deaths, in different forms, we see and experience during each birth. Maybe they want Death herself to whisper that to us.

Edit Mar 29 – And one more death last weekend, making it four deaths in 2 months!